27 December, 2012

We are totally doing IVF in the Spring!!

So. . . I'm having another date night with a bottle of Pinot Noir! Hahaha, I promise I'm drinking out of a glass this time! More like a coffee cup, but hey it gets the job done. I'm watching "Rock of Ages", snuggled in my blanket, eating some peppermint bark and oh my gosh - I think I unconsciously swoon over Alec Baldwin. I think it's, because he's an Aries like me. He seriously makes me giggle :) Or maybe it is really, because I watch "30 Rock" and I love, LOVE love the relationship between Liz and Jack. . .  I always imagine Josh as my Jack :)

Lately, life has been very busy and I'm so, soo happy that the Holiday season is coming to an end! Work has been super busy, Josh's Nanny passed away and we flew to Louisiana in early December. . . When I got back I went back to work the next day and worked for 10 days straight, my grandmother, the very woman who raised me has been in and out of the Hospital for the last two weeks. She is out now and doing better, but geeeeze. I'm ready for a break and ready for things to calm down. Ugggg. Holiday season in my job field = craziness and longer hours. I'm burnt out, lol.

So, obviously the world did not end on the 21st :| I think I may have secretly hoped something slightly crazy would happen,lol I kept saying to Josh "If the world ends, or society as we know it ends then I won't have to work anymore" Hahaha. Wouldn't that be nice? Oh-well, maybe next time. I did have a Christmas-Dooms Day party at my house on Friday - The day the world was supposed to end, lol. It was a blast!! I had such a great time. I have to say it was the best party turn out at my house since we've moved in :) Christmas was good, not great, but good. I enjoyed being with my family the most! I think I feel so blah about it, because I had to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - Booooo. *sigh* and, because yet again we celebrate Christmas without our own little family - Infertility and Endometriosis suck - Big time *stomps feet*

But. . .  Hopefully. . . This will be our last Christmas as just the two of us!!

I haven't really been open or very verbal about this on Blogger, because I wasn't quite ready to share with everyone, I know some people read my blogs and I wasn't ready for them to know, but now I am.

Josh and I are moving forward with IVF in the spring. . .

Holy Freaking Crap!! 

Our first IVF consult appointment is set for February 4th *Eeeeeeeek*

I actually posted a blog months ago in my excitement and then took it down the very next day, lol. Some of you saw that, but for those who didn't - now you know!! I recently had 2,000.00 dollars worth of medication donated to me - OMG!! How awesome is that??? I feel truly blessed and if I don't use all of it then I will donate my remaining med's to someone in the end.

I am beyond excited *sigh* I'm also really scared, nervous and anxious. This is a huge step, a huge risk. Our hearts could be ripped apart or we could get he best gift life could possibly give. Looking over the year of 2012. . . it was filled with hurt, grief, pain, healing and frustration. I still feel some of those things here and there, but for the most part I do pretty well!! I'm strong in my head, strong in my heart and strong in my reason for continuing to try for a baby of our own. I will be going to a new Fertility Clinic, which makes me a bit nervous, but my doctor is moving to this clinic so that should make the transition much easier. I will probably start posting a bit more as we get closer. I will need a place of venting, questioning and reasoning. Blogging has always helped me through uncertain times.

In the new year Josh and I plan to get back into health mode!! We've been eating bad and drinking and all that good stuff. Now it's time to get back on track and get into baby-making mode. It's not the most romantic way to make a baby, but I have high hopes and at this point I don't care what it takes to get there. I just want to get somewhere. I'm excited about IVF, but realize and keep reminding myself that this is not a 100% guarantee. . . I will remain optimistic in my days ahead.

I signed up for a 5k in February :) I'm really excited about that. It is partly motivation to keep in shapte and healthy for IVF, but also something really fun to do. I've never done one before, but I've always wanted to do one. I turn 30 in March, have a small list of a few tings I want to do before turning 30, a 5k is one of them. I'm trying not to wig out about turning 30, but I have tiny moments here and there where I feel my youth slipping away, lol. I need to start planning a Birthday Bash!! We will not start an IVF Cycle until about April, so I will allow myself one night of fun and a few drinks!! I'm specifically waiting until after my Birthday to do IVF, because if it doesn't work I don't want to be sad and miserable during my 30th birthday. This past birthday when I turned 29 I was in the dumps. We did our 2nd IUI and I was in my 2WW on my birthday. . . I could not enjoy myself. I think I knew deep down inside that the IUI didn't work so it put me in a pretty fowl mood, I was so depressed and felt like such a failure, I was really angry with my body. . . I will not do that to myself again, not again.

Merry Christmas to everyone!! or Merry "What ever you celebrate" - See everyone in the new year!!
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18 comments:

  1. EEEEKKKK!! I am so excited for you both! & I am so excited your blogging right now!! Good for you for signing up for your 5k! You will do great!!
    Lots of love and hope!
    Alexis-

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    1. Thanks, Love!!! I'm soooo excited about my 5k. It is a Graffiti Run, so we will be covered in colorful wonderfulness. I shall post some pics when the time comes!!

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  2. That is so exciting!!! Thinking only positive thoughts for you!!!

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    1. Thank you so very much!! I appreciate the positive thoughts, very sweet of you :)

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  3. I am so excited for you my love! Sending prayers your way c:

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    1. Thank you Lady-Cakes :) I can't wait to see what happens. If if fails I may crawl under a rock and never come out, but here's to hoping I get the best gift in life!!!!

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  4. So exciting! Merry Christmas!

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    1. Merry Christmas to you too!! And I hope you had a great New Years Eve :) Cheers to the new year and new possibilities.

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    1. Thank you, Rebecca :) I'm just ran across your post on my feed :| I'm so sorry that the IUI didn't work, god I know that awful feeling and I'm bummed for you. Booo (((hugs)))

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  6. I swear I was just thinking about how I haven't read a post from you in awhile and I was wondering how things were going. Glad to read all this exciting news. (And sorry to read the sad parts). Cheers to IVF in 2013! The year of new beginnings!

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    1. Awe, how sweet of you :) Indeed - Cheers to 2013!!! I hope it's a good year for us all.

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  7. Hooray!!!! Good to see you in my Reader, Crystal! Happy 2013!

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    1. Hehehe :) Thanks!!!! Happy 2013 to you and your Hubby!! I need to go catch up on your blog and find out what's been going on. I'm so behind, lol. I hope you had a good Holiday!

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  8. You know I love ya and cant wait to see Baby Bernard in 2013...IVF will work and i cant wait to share this journey with you!

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    1. Amanda, you are great. . . I love you!!! Wouldn't it be crazy if you, me and Lisa all got our BFP's in 2013??? A girl can dream, right?? :)

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  9. Congrats on your big news. We are doing our first IVF. Exciting and scary. ;) I look forward to following your journey!

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  10. Hi Sweetheart. I happened upon your blog after a general Google search for "redhead blog" as I am in search for beauty products and self tanners for fair skin. I am a redhead as well and want to start gearing up for sundresses and sandals! I started reading through your blog and found your post regarding ivf and infertility and felt compelled to comment. My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for the past three years. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility after being told that nothing was found that could prevent us from conceiving naturally. After two failed rounds of Clomid and two failed IUI cycles we saved our money and decided ivf was our last option. After our first round I became pregnant and had my son almost four months ago. In fact I am holding him right now as he sleeps. I just wanted to wish you all the best as you start this journey and will have my FX that this is your time. We had just about given up all hope but stuck with it and now have our beautiful little boy! All the best! TJ

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