27 August, 2012

The season is changing, and so am I ♥

August is almost gone and Summer is winding down.

I guess you could say - The season is literally on the cusp of change and I couldn't be more happy about it, because I'm starting to feel this change deep within my bones, I can smell it and almost taste it in the air. . . and it feels really, really good.

I started taking Birth Control again since we are no longer ttc'ing, I'm about two weeks in and already I feel like a new person.... well, almost new. . . I'm getting there slowly, but surely. Since starting the BC I feel that something within me has changed or rather something has awoken. I feel like the BC is helping me to understand that I don't have to live in that "TTC" frame of mind anymore, that I can stop thinking about having a baby for a while and that is okay and it doesn't mean I'm giving up, it just means I'm doing what I have to do in order to be happy. Someday we WILL do IVF and when that time comes it will be truly amazing, ah-mazing. I can't wait for that time to come, because I feel deep in my heart that it will work. . . I just know it. But. . .  I'm finding more, and more, that it is okay to just enjoy myself in the time between now and ivf-time. I have to live life. I have to be happy!! The BC is a huge help emotionally. . .  we'll see if it helps the pain! I do still plan to eventually be completely free of red meat and gluten. I've been making much better food choices, MUCH better :)I will admit that sugar is hard. . . I'm finding ice cream the hardest thing to give up. I'm not sure if taking the birth control has been a mental thing, or what, but I feel a spark again that I haven't felt in a very long time. It is a spark of real happiness, not a forced feeling of happiness, but a genuine happiness that is starting to wash over me. I feel it creeping into the nooks and crannies of my heart, breathing new light onto my dry and barren soul.  I feel myself letting go of the negative feelings that have accompanied this the last few years year, and I'm feeling more of this little thing called life. It has definitely taken me a while to get to this point, but I'm so glad that I'm on my way.

Although the Texas heat was horrendous and killed all of the grass in my yard, it did spare my Apple Blossom tree!! I planted it in June for remembrance of our losses and I was a little worried that the summer heat and lack of rain would kill it; I got lucky! So, overall the summer was really, really good to me. I spent time with friends, spent time in the sun, listened to great music beneath the Summer Sun, got sun-kissed and no sun burns, traveled to the lake house several times, drank alcohol and didn't feel guilty about it, got about a thousand new freckles, jet skied for the first time in my life, tubed across the lake laughing my ass off, kayaked for the first time, watched a meteor shower with my sister and saw 6 meteors, had BBQ, learned how to make my best friends awesome guacamole, started watching "Doctor Who" from the beginning, watched 2nd season of "Falling Skies" with my Hubby and I have successfully participated in August VEDA 2012. . . Not a bad summer, not bad at all. 

If you can't tell. . . I'm soooo ready for the Fall season to be here, I could scream!! Eeeek! I have one more day of work left and then I'm on vacation time *happy dance* I'm not going anywhere special. . . Honestly the only reason I'm taking vacation time is to clean my house and my yard. Plus, just having a bit of time off before the busy season kicks our butts will be nice. I've been sooo lazy over the summer and it's been so hot that I haven't wanted to do anything, ANY-E-THING. . . So I need a good week to get things in order. I've also picked up a new hobby ---> Crochet!!! I've needed a hobby for a while and I'm so glad I've found one. When I get really good I'll post a picture of something I've made. I'm currently working on a scarf... The bottom part looks pretty jacked up, but I'm getting better and that's really all that matters :)

This week was officailly Teddy's "Rescue Week". We found him last year this very same week, he was skin and bones, and dug his way into our yard. Josh decided if the was that determined to get into our yard for food and water, then we'd give him a shot - He has turned out to be one of the best dogs we've ever had the privelege of sharing our life with
Happy Rescue Week -Teddy Bear

I hope everyone has a great week and Thanks again to all of those who read and comment on my blog. You have no idea how much all of your sweet words mean to me


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13 comments:

  1. So happy for you. It's so nice to hear about the happiness you are feeling! I'm also excited for fall-- it's the best. Hope you have a great vacation!!

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  2. We bought a jet ski this summer and I rode it once and loved it and can't wait till next summer to ride it again!

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  3. So happy to hear you're feeling better! It's nice to have that spark return. Glad you're back, we've missed you!

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  4. Glad to hear that your spark is returning! I think fall is a wonderful season - the crisp air, the leaves changing, the squash and apples...good things come with autumn for sure:)

    P.S. You are absolutely adorable! I love that pic of you and wish I could do my hair/scarves/bandanas like that! Believe me, I've tried and the results were not flattering!

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  5. Hey lady. I enjoyed this post. I started up my blog again. I just wanted to take a minute to say how pretty you look and how happy you sound. Woot-Woot. And, why must you live all the way in Texas? I wish you were closer to me, so we could hang out. Hugs.

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  6. Glad to hear that the BC is working for you. I hope that someday you'll have a successful IVF.

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  7. Loved this post and so glad you are feeling better and stronger inside :-)

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  8. how did I miss this post! {ugh blogger} I am SO HAPPY that you are feeling so much better! What an awesome post :) I smiled the entire time I read! I am so glad your tree survived the awful heat! Kayaking is one of my favorite in the summer! & Crocheting is such an awesome past time! I learned 2 years ago and I usually do it all winter long! :) Happy rescue day to your pups! Happy Fall!
    ♥ Alexis

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  9. Congratulations on the decision to pursue IVF in 2013. How exciting! I read your post yesterday, but see it is gone now. It's great to hear from you and I'm so glad you have some hope to look forward to. XOXO

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  10. Hey! Your post disappeared! I was glad to hear from you, though! Hope you're doing well!!!!

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  11. Great to see that u are doing better! I just watch your video on utube. Hopefully in the near future, I will beganing my IUI treatment. Thank for sharing your experience.

    Roni

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