14 October, 2011

Gotta wait a bit longer

*Yawn* Well it's Friday, and I just woke up from sleeping about 11 hours. It felt so amazing!

Josh and I went in on Tuesday morning for a sonogram, but we were not able to see the heartbeat. :/ I was pretty disappointed; which led to obsessive negative thoughts, fear and moodiness. hahah. Everything was exactly where it should have been, my yolk sac grew bigger, uterus was at the right size, my cervix was closed, and my HcG levels were right on. So we're waiting until next Thursday to go back!! I was only 5 weeks 7 days... 6 1/2 weeks is really a better time to see it, I've been told. I felt pretty bummed that entire day, but when Dr. Laura called the next day with my numbers I felt tons better, I also emailed Jencia, and asked if not seeing the heartbeat was normal... she calmed my nerves too and said it's very normal. :) I am anxious to see this tiny little life that's currently inside of me, jacking my nutrients and making me sleepy, lol. Josh was great during the sonogram! His eyes got so bright, and I could feel the vibrations of excitement resonating off his body. Every time he saw the little tiny thing inside the sac, he'd unknowingly squeeze my arm or shoulder, he'd get this huge grin on his face, and when we didn't see the heartbeat; he reassured me that he could see everything that he needed to know everything was fine. lol!

Like I said in the beginning... It's Friday, I just slept for 11 hours and I feel great! I feel every bit of pregnant I could possibly feel at this point. My breast are still a size bigger, and sore, my appetite fluctuates day to day; more like hour to hour. I sleep a lot, I cry and become moody all the sudden, and my pants don't button, hahaha. So I'm not fretting one bit until Thursday. I've still had some spotting here and there, but that's only because of the small hemorrhage next to where my sac implanted... So that doesn't scare me anymore, and I'll probably have spotting until it goes away completely or my body absorbs it! I'm currently feasting on a bowl of cut up strawberries, blueberries and raisins. I thought I was going to be totally cool and healthy, and have them with organic plane yogurt, but my lord was I wrong... I. HATE. YOGURT. The taste is horrid. I thought maybe I'd be able to give it a try, that maybe my taste buds had changed enough for me to like it, and I was totally wrong.

We got our sweet Daisy spayed a few days ago. I felt kinda bad inside taking away her chance to have puppies :| She came into heat, and was driving our Teddy & Scruffy to the brink of insanity. Next, we'll have to get Mr. Scruffy Man fixed! I swear he would have tried to get the wall pregnant if he could have. Hahaha. Natural instinct is so darn strong sometimes.

I dreamed of my old friend Sarah last night. It's been a while since she visited my dreams. About a month ago, Anna and I decided to go see her Mom! Shannon, said we should write Sarah a note, and leave it in her mailbox, since we can't just go next door like normal adults, and say Hi. So I did, we never heard anything from her. It hurt my feelings, I guess she truly is the one who doesn't want to be friends. That makes me sad inside. I've forever and always thought it to be her husbands choice, because that's how it was so long ago. He's the one who said we could not be friends. But now I'm really starting to just let go of the idea of ever having a friendship with her again. It is sad... because she was an awesome person. I feel bad that I was a wild child, and lost her friendship, but we're all grown adults now, so I don't understand why we can't act like adults, and move forward in life. More and more I feel less bad, and feel that it's her loss. I'm not going to beg for anyone to be my friend. Any-who... In my dream I was sitting in my living room, and I could see her at her Moms house, then all the sudden she was walking into my front door, she sat down with her daughter, and said "I asked if I could come over, and he said it was OK". That was pretty much it. See... very strange, hummm. It was nice to see her though... even if it was just a short dream :)

Have a swell day everyone ♥

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