29 October, 2011

Feeling un-Halloweeny

Halloween is days away, and this is the first year in a very long time that I could care less about it :| Halloween is my all-time favorite festive day of the year :( How depressing am I, lol. Josh, and I dressed the dogs up in costumes the other day, it put a smile on my face! I decorated a pumpkin several weeks back with Anna, but that's the extent of my Halloween-ness this year. I'm such a Debbie-Downer. Humph...

So, the waiting continues. . . no news is good news, I guess.

I've been okay maintaining my thoughts and feelings. I've still been avoiding all my friends, phone calls and such. I'm sorry for this but, it's just to hard to casually talk about right now. I'm teetering on the edge of insanity Errrr. Yesterday, I woke up pissed off, angry, sad, depressed, and anxious. . . I felt so much emotion, that it was impossible to get away from, I just had to feel it, every effing ounce of it, no escape. I was depressed all day, cried before work, made it through work, cried the entire way home, and then some more at home with Josh. I really don't know how I'd make it without him ♥

On a side note...

I have a spot on my butt cheek the size of a nickle, a spot on my toe, and a small spot on my nose that are strange, flaky, red, itchy, and not bug bites bites. They don't seem to be going away, or getting better. These did not show up until the last few weeks. Several years ago I had a spot on my skin that would not go away and my dermatologist said it was Morphea, which is also known as localized lupus. With the sudden appearance of these new spots, I did a little investigating online, and I am curious if these new spots have anything to do with Lupus. I've never thought I had it before, never asked, never really knew much about it, but I think I may ask Dr. Laura what she thinks. It's odd that they would just now show up, during such a stressful time.

Someone can just shoot me now, so I'll stop freaking out about stupid crap... I really wouldn't mind, hahaha.

Happy Halloween Everyone!


  1. Don't you know that if you ever ever google some thing your going to have a) Cancer or B) die in three days c: There is a joke on Rodney Carrington (which I am sure you dont listen to because I dont but I do bc the husband happens to be a red neck deer shooting worsh rag talking kinda guy ) But he had a rash & he looked it up and he swore he had "ricketts" its not really funny typing it.. if you call me I'll say it in the accient Bwhahahahahaha <3 still it may not be that funny, I cant actually belive I have talked this long about something I cant stand... maybe I secretly do like Rodney Carrington.. Hmm who knew c:

    Sorry I ramble... Oh and the other thing..

    Faith is daring the soul to go far beyond what the eye can see... <3

    You have a Cheerleading Team... & either way the cookie crumbles, I still have Milk to drink <3

  2. LOL - Dude.. Yes, I know you are not a dude... but I say that. This comment really, truly made me laugh out loud. Thank You. from the bottom of my ♥ I know exactly who Rodney Carrington is, because my hubby is a comedian kinda guy and I hear it all. When you said "Call me and I'll say it in the accent" I immedeatly heard it in my head, but totally imagined you saying it, lol... *sigh* :) I really needed that! It made me laugh, and cry at the same time - those are the best heheh :)

    PS... Googling during emotionally desperate times is evil, and you are right. It's always cancer or death...never the simple answer of *you're stressed out* lol.

    Happy Halloween to You, and your lil-family ♥

  3. I have a black spot on my back (almost right over my spine...)and for a long time I just thought it was a pimple or something but it's still there no matter how I scrub it. I have a strong feeling it's skin cancer but with it being on my spine I'm terrified to ask!


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