04 September, 2011

First IUI = Excitment & Hope

Tonight we grilled steaks and potatoes on the back patio, and enjoyed the amazing weather! Well, Josh did all the grilling and I did the inside stuff ♥ That's teamwork Baby. This is our celebration of Labor day, I guess...even thought we both worked the entire weekend. He got lucky and was off today! He called me this morning with excitement in his voice that the weather changed over night! He also opened up all the doors and windows and when I got home it was such a refreshing feeling, the house smelled fresh and the sound of rustling leaves from the backyard soothed me at the core.

It was a really loooong weekend, and *sigh* it's not even over yet. Ugh... well technically it is, but in my world of weird schedules, my weekend hasn't arrived yet and wont start until Thursday. Boooo!

I had plans this weekend that did not go as expected. Errr... Don't-cha hate it when that happens!?! One of my employee's got pulled over and put in jail Friday night. So had to cover the shifts. It was frustrating at first, but I got over it as the day progressed. I worked an 11 hour shift Sat, a 10 hour shift Sun, and I went back at 8-ish this morning. Bleh *whining, pouting, and stomping feet* - I'm beat and ready for a day of relaxation :)

I don't think it would have been that bad if I had not started taking hormones this week lol. I wanted to post earlier last week about starting the IUI process this month!! But I got so busy with work that I've been holding onto it for days.

I went in Thursday afternoon for my Baseline U/S (ultrasound), and got the green light to start taking Letrozole for our first IUI attempt - 2 pills on days 3-7. I got to see my ovaries, and they had plenty of baby eggs (follicles) ready to grow; seeing that brought a few tears to my eyes. My left ovary even had eggs *shocking*. Dr. Laura said my left ovary looks good after surgery however; she said I possibly have another Endometrioma located at the top of my ovary or it's my fallopian tube blocked up again. It was hard to tell on the ultrasound, but she said we could go ahead and move forward without concern unless I started to have pain.I did a little *happy dance* in my mind and in the elevator on my way out of the building, hahaha. I hope the tube is blocked! Most people probably think I'm a bit crazy for that one, but let me explain... Right now I'm considered a "high-risk" for a pregnancy outside of the uterus otherwise known as an ectopic pregnancy; so if the tube is blocked I have a lower chance fertilizing anything from that side. So yes, I hope that it's a blocked tube vs. an Endometrioma. I already know the left side is pretty much crap...so I'm not too upset about that. Today I gulped down the last two Letrozole pills in hopes that my eggs were growing nice and plump :)

The side effects of my new drug have been about the same as Clomid! I have not experienced blurry vision like I did for those 4 months, but I've had hot-flashes (slightly less intense), headaches and I have been rather tearful... Ahummm - actually it's been more like *pretty emotional* in a laughing/crying at the same time kinda way, lol. I cried on the way home from my fertility clinic, but those were tears of overwhelming excitement, joy and hope. I've contained my crazy infertile hormones as best as I can through this crazy week/weekend, but last night after getting off work I had a bit of a breakdown. I got off around 11 and had to be back early. So, I really had no time to wind down and let the day fall off my shoulders :/ When Pnut and I got up to go to bed I was instantly in the crappiest mood and turned into a big ol sissy-baby. I told him I was sorry for being such a drag, being in such a horrible mood; that it really had nothing to do with him and then I burst into tears. Poor Pnut, he just kinda sat there all quiet...like "ummmm, Did I do something and if so what do I do now"? I got up and went into the living room, he hadn't done anything, but for whatever reason I just needed to be alone with myself so I could cry with no questions asked; plus I didn't want to keep him awake with my sobbing in bed. Hahaha - lol... We can laugh about it today, so that's a good thing!! I sat in the dark and cried for at least 25 minutes, maybe longer. I would cry and stop, cry, and stop... and cry some more. Good grief I was a mess... I'm glad that's over! How did I get over it you ask!?!

While rushing out the door for work this morning I got hit in the face by a cool and crisp breeze, and temperatures in the low 70's possibly even 68 or 69 (I never checked the actual temp). It was a big fat taste of Fall, and I was a happy girl after that!

It was an amazing way to feel after such a depressing night of feeling in the dumps, lol. And, oooooh how much I needed that today. It drastically changed my mood! A part of me that has been suffocated by this heavy Summer... I was finally able to breathe. It reminded my brain, my internal sense of being and self - that things are not as stagnant as they've seemed lately. All things change. Just knowing there is an end in sight to this unforgettable Summer; feels like waiting for cookies in the oven to ding! My intense, hormone induced mood swing from last night was gone. It was replaced with wondrous thoughts of leaves crunching beneath my feet, early evening sunsets, crisp air that lets me see my breath, and cooler temperatures. Ahhhhhh...and Halloween :) I love the way a changing season puts me back on track, balances out my thoughts and mind, blows away the dust from my path ahead, and most of all... I love how it reawakens my soul. I don't know quite how to explain the way I feel when the season begins to change, but I can say that there is just something so beautiful about the whole process.

That first taste of fall triggers something instinctual inside of me - I ♥ it!

Happy Labor Day to all

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