Goodness me...It was 11o degrees outside today!
We are being baked alive each and every day :/ The grass in my yard died weeks ago and crunches under my feet, my plants are hanging on by a thread and today we hit 32 consecutive days of 100+ temperatures. It's freaking hot everywhere!! Almost all of the United States is being tortured by a tremendous heat wave. Uggggg.
July is officially over, August is here and we are a tiny bit closer to fall weather. I've already noticed the day's are starting to darken sooner. July was busy, hot and very long. I had surgery on the 13th and I finally had my post-op follow up appointment last week. It was informative to say the least. I learned that my Endometriosis is severe... meaning Stage 4. She sent off tissues samples and it all came back as Endometriosis. My ovarian cancer test was negative - *Thank the Gods*. As Dr. Laura went over the Lap pictures she pointed out what I thought was part of the cyst but in fact it was my fallopian tube all curled up and extremely swollen, she said it was an *Angry* fallopian tube :/ It may seem silly but that's what I like about her so much. Even thought my tube is a piece of crap that should be ripped out, she expressed it in a humorous way that made me smile... it sucks to get bad news but it's always easier with someone who understands human emotions. She doesn't over do it but she really get's the point across gently.
I asked her if an egg could get through the tube and she said - "The left tube is open, however... since it's curled up and swollen, you have a very high chance of having and ectopic pregnancy on that side". Dr. Laura also said "With that being said you may want to discuss this information with your family and make sure that you are prepared to deal with something like that".
Example - If we do the IUI, and each of my ovaries releases and egg, one gets fertilized and makes to to my uterus, the other gets fertilized and gets stuck in my tube, I then have a very high chance to lose it all, because I'd have to have surgery to remove the ectopic, which could damage the growing egg/fetus that makes it to the right spot. We just have to be prepared for anything to happen.
For the most part I felt good about the appointment, although deep inside I felt that she was slightly hinting at IVF or maybe I was just feeling low and pessimistic and felt that because I subconsciously was feeling like that was our only option. She said that there was no reason to go straight there. Dr. Laura feels that we do have a good chance with IUI considering they did just go in and clean up badly diseased areas. My fingers are crossed that I produce good eggs :)
Even thought I felt good about the appointment overall I was really angry and pissed off when I left the office that day. I knew it was bad, but I honestly didn't think it would be stage 4. I felt hopeless, sad, angry, pissed, like I needed to drowned my sorrows in a bottle of Goose and defeated. I needed to sleep on it, let those words "Stage 4 Endometrisos" really sink in. I now realize just serious my painful periods are, I'm angry that they are not "regular" periods, like so many frustrated women are told while waiting to be diagnosed with this disease. It is labeled as and Immune disorder. My obsesive research has reached new highs hahaha. I have been digging deep and finding many interesting things about Endo and it makes me feel like in some small way I'm taking control.
Dr. Laura said we could try a few IUI with Letrozole, Clomid messed with my vision too much. If I don't produce enough eggs we can move to IUI with Injectables, which would make me produce more eggs than the Letrozole and if that doesn't work we would need to move to IVF. I've always told myself that I didn't want to go the route of IVF. It's so emotional, horrid side affects, extremely expensive and I just don't know if I'm willing to put myself and Pnut through all that. I asked Dr. Laura what an average estimate would be and she said about 12,000. at least. I felt my heart sink a little. So for right now I think we'll probably try up to 3 cycles and go back to trying on our own.
I've been doing tons of research on diets for Endometriosis and found some positive info... It's intense though. I mean Seriously... no red meat, no dairy, no gluten. I'm willing to do it but I'm so overwhelmed by all the info that I really have no idea where to start. I would love to do things in a natural way if it will help. If a million dollars lands in my lap I might think about IVF but for now I believe 3 cycles of IUI will be a good shot!
We are set to do our first IUI in September :) I stopped taking birth-control the day I had my follow up, it was my last pill, perfect timing! Dr. Laura said that we'll wait and let me have a normal period and start the IUI process at the beginning of my next cycle. We got the go-ahead to resume sex!!! Hahaha Pnut was very happy to hear that :) And...even thought we are not doing the IUI this month, we are still going to try it the good old fashioned way! I'm starting to get excited about the IUI, it's been a long wait and I pray that this is our miracle..please, please, please with sugar on top, let this be our year.
In anticipation of possibly doing the IUI this month I went ahead and bought my monthly supply of Ovulation strips, I'm going to to use them this month to time with our good Ole'fashioned baby-making methods. I find it slightly funny because last year when we started our first month of Clomid it was in September. A whole year will have passed dealing with all this infertility junk, I mean yes, we spent over 5 years of trying before seeing an RE, but this year has been way more emotional than those 5 years of not really knowing what the heck was going on. I'm ready for it to come to an end and let us be on our way to the next chapter of our lives...is that too much to ask for? I don't think so :)