16 April, 2011

Infertility re-cap!

From the very beginning shall we...

Since middle school I've had very intense menstrual cramps. I just thought it was what every woman felt. After high school I started having worse pain and weird cycles that would send me to the hospital thinking something was seriously wrong. One time they thought it was my appendix and well let's just say that wasn't fun. I started taking so much Tylenol to deal with the discomfort that it showed when I had a blood test done and my liver enzymes were through the roof. I started taking birth control which helped for a little while (I still had to take Tylenol, but it was some better), then I started taking only the first 3 weeks and I would immediately start another round of birth control. I basically didn't have a period for about 6 months. My doctor at the time said it was most likely Endometriosis but the only way to tell would be through lap surgery. I really didn't have the money for surgery and it seemed risky to me at the time. They offered to put me on Lupron for 6 months to see if that would allow the Endo to die off. I decided against that and chose to just handle it in my own way. I did research on diet and exercise, different things that other woman had posted online, things that helped them deal with it in a natural way. Lupron would have made me go into early menopause for 6 months and I wasn't ready to deal with something like that.

My doctor at that time told me that if I do have Endo then I may want to think about having kids as soon as we think we are ready. I remember feeling so sad when he told me that. They don't really know what causes Endometriosis and so that makes it difficult for people to be treated and for doctors to truly understand how to deal with and treat it. They know what it does and they know the only way of stopping it is cutting it out, but it regrows too. Errrr. At times I felt like my doctors thought I was just being a hypochondriac . Trying to get a doctor to diagnose you with Endometriosis can be very difficult.

I got pregnant in 2004, I had barley found out I was pregnant when I miscarried at 7 weeks. It was a total surprise because we were not even trying. I was devastated inside and honestly a little grateful too which sounds awful to some people; I'm sure. We were in no place to have a child :/ With all the struggles we're having it makes me feel sometimes like our one chance was lost a long time ago. Now, I know that's not true but it's just a feeling and I'm only human! Several months after the miscarriage Josh and I decided we'd stop using protection and just see what happened... We waited, and waited and waited. It was as if we both didn't want to say something was wrong so we just didn't say anything and thought "It will happen when it happens"...we see where that got us. hahah No where... We did not tell our family or friends that we were trying.. We kept it to our selves and after a few years the pain started to show and I shared with my close girlfriends. We didn't even tell his parents or my family we had been trying until last year. It feels nice to now share these feelings and not hold back...although I still do sometimes lol.

Last summer I decided to see my gynecologist and after several months with her I was referred to a (Reproduction Endocrinologist). I got an HSG test done to check my fallopian tubes and make sure they were open. They were much to my surprise! So I thought wow...the endo wasn't affecting my fertility, I thought it was just the morphology and a part of me was relieved because I'd been afraid of that for a while. In the beginning we we're under the assumption that the main *issue* was Josh's morphology, he has a super high count of sperm, great motility and basically great numbers across the board! The morphology is low but not horrible and almost all men have some level of morphology. Morphology is the shape of the sperm and structure, if they have big heads they are unable to penetrate the egg, or they might have two tails and can't swim the right way.

I used Clomid for 4 months I had intense hot-flashes and it messed with my vision, so when I started seeing my Reproduction Endocrinologist or *RE* who I call Dr. Laura, she said I could not take Clomid anymore because it could cause permanent damage to my optic nerve. My vision is still a little blurrier then before the clomid. So she proscribed Letroloze. It's not FDA approved but they give it to women dealing with breast cancer and it really seems to help and it also doesn't thin out the uterine lining like Clomid does.

We were going to do an IUI (intra-uterine insemination) along with Letrozole for increased ovulation but I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and a cyst was found on my left ovary. So that totally threw us off track. Dr. Laura thinks it's an endometrioma which is caused my endometriosis :( I'll go back soon for a follow-up ultrasound and find out where we go from there. Surgery may be an option and at this point I'm going to say yes if it's necessary!

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