18 September, 2010

So much work

Well I started the Clomid on Friday which was yesterday, I originally said Sat but I must have been dyslexic or something because Friday was the 5th day. I could tell that something was affecting me, my sensitivity level was definitely heightened, I felt a little hot and just a little strange overall..kind of hard to explain. But let me tell ya.. sitting on the toilet dipping long paper strips into a tiny little cup of my pee and waiting for 5 minutes is just so exciting. Nothing better I'd rather do haha. I've got my little notepad to keep track of things, my med's and my strips all set up in the bathroom..so I hope this stuff makes me fertile or something along those lines. This is a lot of work just to get pregnant.. and all those years in school teachers made it sound like all a guy had to do is look at you the wrong way and you'd get pregnant, I guess for most people it's like that..one crazy wild night with the one you love or one drunk and crazy night with the one you just met. Some peoples bodies are just drawn together chemically I think..

I've been having some really active dream-time over the last week. I think my mind knows that we are trying to do something, because it has been throwing some awesome dreams my way, very detailed. Last night I dreamed of my old friend Sarah Garrett..we are no longer friends because I was a bad influence after high school with my clubbing and partying ways..So her husband didn't really care too much for my presence and asked her not to be my friend anymore. Sarah is a regular in my dreamworld, from time to time she pop's up and sometimes Kris is with her..but usually it's just her or her and her daughter..last night was especially cool, because I got to see both her kids, her Mom and Brother..we went to a bar together just her and I..we had so much fun it was so real and as if time had never passed. Her hair was long and she was still thin and tall like she's always been. It was amazing to see her I hope that life is being kind to her. Even tho we are no longer friends I know that we still each think of one another. We had a wonderful friendship when we were growing up..most always on the same page together..I miss her so much sometimes. I wonder what her life is like, what things she likes. One day..we'll come across each other and the time will be right again for friendship.

Anywho my imagination is active and awake..which makes me excited to fall asleep at night! I usually have amazing dreams and people say they don't mean much..but for me..I always find some meaning in my dreams no matter how little or how big they are..there is always something there to be found if your eyes, mind and soul are open.


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