26 August, 2009

On my way home...

On my way back home...the sun was beautiful..

Iguanas and spaceships

For the last week I’ve been having some very crazy dreams…lol I mean have tons of dreams usually. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately so...they’ve just been extra weird. The first dream I had was Sat night…Now keep in mind, I went to a friends birthday party and had two shots of Jaeger at the end of the night…something that you know...”might have attributed to my freaky dreams”. Anna was in my dream (she is my oldest best friend...not old as in wrinkled and menopausal, old as in, of all my friends she’s the one that’s been my friend the longest” We were sitting in a room getting ready to go somewhere, she seemed upset at me, or at something not in words but in facial expressions. She was quiet and sitting on the floor at the other side of the bed. I was picking off some sticky letters that were on the side of the suitcase I was sitting next to. It was blue and in white letters it said “White Paint”… I was pealing off the letters for that said paint…we were departing…something wasn’t right. While we are sitting there I am snacking on a bag of something I’ve never eaten in real life. The food was fruit flavored but had the texture of cheese puffs. The pieces were big, palm sized, they were shaped like the fruit they portrayed, only they were not juicy; they were crunchy and stuck to the inside of your teeth…it was an odd texture but tasted just like real fruit.
The next night (Sunday) I dreamt about an old pet that passed away in 2005. “The Freak” an Iguana that Josh acquired before we got married...He was a little guy back then, by the time he passed on he was about 5’5” he was huge…He escaped during the spring and lived out the summer in our backyard and the neighbors front tree. The first freeze that year he didn’t make it. So I dreamt the other night that I had moved into my house and I had this great huge porcelain tub sitting in my bathroom…I came from the other room holding an iguana, which to me was the freak in “dream-form”…as if he came to visit me...I picked him up and oddly he wasn’t scratching or trying to get loose…I drew a bath of a lukewarm water…I set him at the edge to the tub and let him slide slowly into the bath, he swam with such peace, swimming gracefully back and forth, diving into the water and swishing his body like a snake, .his pudgy arms straight at his side. He then turned into a cartoon type character, turned over on his back and looked up at me with a smile on his face….it made me giggle, and I felt overjoyed with happiness…it’s as if he had a human spirit and consciousness...he was happy to be in the water and happy to see me!

My last dream was early Tuesday morning…The most intense of my dreams this week..I won’t go into much detail. Only because there is a lot to go along with it…For the most part...there was an invasion on earth, spaceships in the sky, I was freaked out, trying to find cover…I was so wigged out at one point I was sitting on the ground trying to dig a hole that I could hide in. there were thousands of lights above my head each one a mother ship…there were people running, missiles flying…it was totally crazy, insane and quite possibly could have made a great movie had I been able to remember all of the details...So that’s it for my dreams this week. I’m sure there will be many more, since I started all of this house stuff...my brain has been very active at night...it’s kinda been fun, a little creepy here and there…but nevertheless entertaining to my mind

Happy dreaming...


13 August, 2009

oh cloudy day

If you did not know or had not figured out by now...I love the sky, the clouds..and of course the Sun, Moon and Stars, they have been triggers for some of life's deepest curiosities and the most profound mysteries...I keep my camera with me at all times...just in case I need to pull over and catch some life's natural beauty...This morning was one of those days. I got up at 9:00am to meet Jocelyn my Realtor at the house...We scheduled a foundation inspection and all went well...The clouds in the sky today were truly amazing, they had me in a trance..with their stunning beauty...My pictures don't do justice to what the sky painted me today...but I snapped some photo's anyway The other night Josh and I got to see some of the Perseid meteor shower!! It was awesome..it happens every August. I went out at Midnight and it was too cloudy..then at 1:30 still a little cloudy...then we went out at 3:00am, we popped open the tail gait of the truck and both just laid down starring up into the great unknown...we were out there a good 10 minutes and then it happened...a huge meteor shot across the sky; I gasped and sat straight up clutching my chest. It gives me chills to see something like that..it was so neat so much bigger than all the little things in life, things are happening out there while we just go about our business down here. In all we saw 3 that night. Had we not lived in the city we could have seen many more..But I was satisfied with what we got to see. I will never forget it! It was great to experience that with my Pnut(Josh) making memories is a lot of fun! As a kid I would beg my papa to stay up late when there was a lunar eclipse. He bought a telescope and we always looked to the skies for enjoyment...I was so curious about space and the skies when I was young..it's something I never grew out of. I miss my grandfather. He was an open minded man back then..only I was to young to know or even understand..I wish I could see him now..it would be amazing to talk to him about all the things I've learned over the years..how I've continued to love space even after he left us so long ago, to tell him we have lil robots on Mars..I can see him grinning now :o)..I can remember always waiting and waiting and then falling asleep on the couch..he'd come running into the living room "It's time get up..it's time to come see" We drove my grandmother crazy I'm sure... I'd be half asleep with my hair a mess, and my brain still vaguely swimming in dream land..and after just a moment of peaking into the telescope I lit up like a star, danced on the porch and threw my arms in air ..I would get so excited and just stand there in amazement looking into the sky....I really didn't realize how much my heart missed him until now we have some good memories...this one's for you papa!


11 August, 2009

Chasing sunsets

This evening I drove through the cemetery on the way home from dropping my brother off. It was kind of weird; I didn't plan it..I just kinda wound up there chasing the sunset.I have been serving as "Local Taxi" to my family over the last several months, my brother has his rehab classes, my grandmother her gazillion doctors appointments, and my dad with his strokes and needing to go to the grocery store at the most inconvenient times..they are a mess..But with great love and the deepest affection I say to you "they are my mess...they drive me crazy, but I love them with all my heart" and I offered to help when my Bro went to rehab..It was one of the stipulations of him going, we kinda made a deal..but hey it's been the best damn deal we've made in a very long time..I'm proud of him..he's staying strong and doing well, taking it day by day..I remember saying "If you go and lose your car (which he did) I will help you no matter what happens" Of course I was being Lil Big sis, and needed to swoop in and take action..I just didn't realize how big of a task it would be..especially when you are in the middle of trying to buy a house. So on day's like today I say to myself.."I got him into rehab it's my duty to see him through recovery" that's what family is for..plus he needs all the support he can get..he has a lot on his plate..
On my way home I was starring face to face with a beautiful sunset, it was speaking to me, painting a beautiful picture that my mind was getting lost in. It was talking to my soul, and the song's on the radio were sent from the Radio Gods just for me, it was a perfect moment, I felt at peace with myself for the first time in a while...a good feeling deep within that things are going to work out no matter what..things will happen even if it takes them a while. One of those moments when I'd look out into the sky and realized that my life was moving and the sunset was moving and I had to catch it, we are all apart of everything, my life has been moving all along the whole time..I just didn't stop to realize it. With the house thing I am totally in tune with my responsibilities at the moment, it feels good, I feel good..and very focused haha..That is a really good feeling. My life is no longer standing still..but in fact change is upon me, blowing all around..
That is why I had the urge to chase the sun and get my inspirational motivation in picture form. Josh forbids me to go down to the river at sunset alone so I make do with parking lots and such...It's not too bad :o) I used to stomp my foot in protest and of course say "I'm an adult I can take care of myself, just because I'm a woman you think I am weak, blah blah blah" overtime I guess I'm starting to realize he really is just looking out for me..and doesn't want anything to happen to my well being.It's sweet in a romantic kinda way and sometimes I just feel so irked at hearing those words.."You're going down there?!?..at this time?!?..by yourself!!" I can laugh about it now because I have no need to take my camera, throw on my granny shades and sit by the river taking pictures of things I really wish were giant mountains and sandy beaches. Driving through Mt Olivet cemetery was quite an interesting and peaceful experience..I never knew how big it was...never did I imagine it was that large..from the street it looks small, neat and quiet a little like one of those cemetery's you see in the movies, except it wasn't cloudy and it wasn't cold or rainy. It was quiet, emerald green..it was quite peaceful...I drove all the way to the back so I would not offend anyone there morning for their lost loved one's or who knows cursing their loved one's for leaving them with debt or crazy greedy kids..what ever they were feeling I was not about to be apart of it..and I didn't want them to see me and wonder what this crazy woman with a camera is doing driving up and down the street's stopping for a few seconds only to stop again a few feet ahead..I was chasing that perfect spot.. that perfect shot..I don't think I found it..but being there..something about it was captivating..I really can't explain it..it was just oddly soothing to be there for a moment..so many tall and full trees, with the sunset peaking through in little patches..it was a beautiful place. If I wanted to buried I guess I wouldn't mind being placed 6ft under one of those big green shade trees...and the grass...ohhh the grass was so green..I almost wanted to take my shoes off and go walk through it..but I thought that might look a little strange...


06 August, 2009

my epic dream...August 2009

I have many dreams, but about every 4-6 months I have these unbelievably intense dreams about space, planets, the sun, moon and the earth, end of the world type stuff..they are so very real..each one different, yet similar other ways..they are very heavy and stay with me for years...I'm not really sure why I have them..but they are amazing...sometimes a little too scary!
In my dream we (family and friends) are all sitting around the house watching TV and talking about the fact that it’s 2012, Joking like we did when Y2K came around…and we’re laughing and joking about how nothing has happened…You know because so many people believe the world will end in 2012...Suddenly my mind is transported to some place. Maybe the white house, NASA, or some underground place where there are Astrologists and Cosmologists, scientist...hell I don’t know but people of importance, people who watch the skies for a living…. I was standing in the room off to the side as if no one really knew I was there…I can see on these huge screens the planetary system and people pointing and talking and saying that something is happening out there. They are worried, it causes me to worry, I get panicky, they were using words that sounded crazy and times, and numbers it’s difficult to remember word for word what was in my dream. I woke up to a phone call from my realtor in the non-dream world up so it was hard hanging on to all the details…It’s as if they were saying that several planet’s lined up, I guess my brain pulled up that file…hahah the Great Alignment...lol .In my head I could see Neptune, Jupiter, Saturn and other planets. those are the ones that just came right to my mind when I saw them…it’s as if I knew exactly which ones were which I could see them all in a line. As if they were hanging in front of me on fishing wire…like I could reach out and just grab one of them. With all that I was seeing in my head I was suddenly back inside the living room with the people I was with. Family I think. But I can’t say for sure it’s always people who feel like family and friends, but I usually never really see their faces. Not often…. It was night time, the air was thick, and people were nervous feeling, lots of people were outside their homes gawking and pointing, even crying out and screaming, but also laughing and joking as if it was amusing that people were getting wound up and scared. Outside it was dark; not pitch dark. Dark like your in a lit up parking lot. We are looking at the sky; we can see the moon and it's not as big as it usually is in my dreams! Normally it's as big as an orange. Part of the moon is smoking…as if it’s burning; only it doesn’t look like it’s on fire…it’s eerie thought to think that anything would be going on because everyone’s joked about it for so long, that I think a lot of people have a very small part inside them that gets fearful at the thought “What if something did happen” Well …That something was happening. And we were all standing around in complete shock not knowing what to expect…but in my dream, I knew what to expect…I’ve had a lot of these dreams now so I felt more at home in this dream…as I watched the moon continue to smoke I was again back at the “place” where all the Space people and government people were…I could see them seeing what was happening and just completely wigging out it’s not as if they could hide it from the people. Once people on the ground started to notice anything at all…it spread around the world like wildfire, it was a world wide event, everyone everywhere that was outside or within reach of a TV, radio, internet… knew that something was happening way out there and we had no idea what was going to happen. Standing outside again we are watching the moon smoke and there is all of this cloudy vapor type stuff way out in the sky. Not like normal clouds. these were unexplainable, hard to make sense of…the moon suddenly started to burn and fall apart, I ran into the house at this moment, I can remember slamming the door once we were in, and it suddenly got very bright in the room as if the entire sky lit up. I closed my eyes instinctively, then suddenly it was back to regular dim light, everything sounded odd. Actually there was no sound. Nothing was happening, there were no lights, we were completely powerless standing there watching the moon as burned in the sky like the tip of a lit cigarette, it looked as though it was falling to the earth in slow motion and that was all I remember…

goodnight...and happy dreaming :o)

04 August, 2009

Hello Sunrise..

I normally work the night shift..so there comes a time when I have to make the dreaded turn-around..Eekkk!!...Don't get me wrong it's not the worst thing that can happen to a person..It's just difficult getting home and having to be back at work in 6 hours. Once I'm there I'm good..it's the getting to sleep and the waking back up in such a short amount of time; that really gets me. Normally I can't sleep so I take A few Melatonin to fall asleep and then I'm like a brainless zombie when I have to get up..lol..there I am dragging my half asleep, still kinda dreaming, drunk-like body out to the car, making sure I have my phone, my key's, the right cloths on, name tag..my camera...*I always have my camera*...and making sure the make-up I forgot to take off last night isn't smeared across my face..lol..okay so maybe not the make up thing...that was back in my early twenties.."The Party all night, don't go to sleep just go straight to work, get a red-bull and worry about sleep later" days...I've grown up a bit since then..but you get my point...the turnaround kicks my ass now..How lame..I'm starting to show my age..hehehe...**Earth**Paging Crystal, get your lazy ass up and get moving, the car isn't going to start it's self"..haha One of the best parts about the turn-around...is that the sun greets me and watches over me as I make the trek to work...as if's it's telling me.."Wake up sleepy Crito, Did you sleep well..have any dreams??..Have a good day..we'll catch up at three!..The morning sun brings out in me such a natural happiness, It's beautiful, it makes me feel alive, and when I see it..I know that I am alive..it's the true start of the day...one I feel from the very depths of my soul..I often miss it because of my night schedule. What's really weird is seeing the Moon out on your way home...and getting back up in those few hours to drive back and you see the moon out still..just about to fade away..as if it waited all night for you..just for you!