26 August, 2007

Loving him

I am so in love with my husband.

I loved him when I married him, but it was a different kind of love, and as time goes by, I see that "Love" changes like the seasons. Sometimes it's cold and bitter, and fades to warmth and sun shiny days...with a pinch of windy laughter

….Now…now, I think I understand what Love is really intended for…but that's my little secret...

I mean...I always loved him but right now at this very moment in time… I stare off into space realizing how much this person makes my life go round, how much this person makes the frown on my face turn into a bucket of smiles. I feel my heart beat so wildly I almost want to cry because I am so thankful…and so relieved I have something in life that makes me get up everyday. Something that allows me not to be selfish...

I can do nothing but smile and look up and thank the "Gods" who gave me such a beautiful life and such an amazing lover. I love him with every fiber of my being every stitch of my soul.

We've grown and fallen, and faded, and grown back…

It's a beautiful dance; one I hope to learn more steps to as I grow into a wise old woman...

Its life at its purest and love at its most precious stage…

I love that he's grown to love my quirkiness…my inconvenient moments of utter ditziness, and my ever changing mind of passion and wonder.

Sometimes love is not so lovely.. "believe me I've been there, done that...and may visit there again someday" at times it "love" makes you want to hurl, run and hide…and often you'll want to pull out your hair and paste it back on with super glue…There are always going to be days when you question your choices, wonder if you chose the right path…and it's difficult to cheer and perk your self up, when your sitting in the dumps…But when you get past those days and see the true light of things…you can lift your head a little higher dust yourself off and continue on your way.

You have to realize that the moments you make are real.. you are the creator. The good and bad are what holds it all together…I guess you could say one with out the other would leave you empty and longing for any of the two "good or bad.."

I have been blessed in many ways... which is why I will continue to live life in a good way (or the best I can) and smile for the fact that I have a "good" life or a better life than I started out with. As each day passes I am bathed in life's beautiful mystery and will persevere down the path of which my heart desires. The path that so makes my heart jump for joy, the path that get's my heart pumping and makes me shake my ass…the path that seems unforeseen, and unknown, maybe even a little frightening…because out there in the mix of all this madness is my life story writing it's self out…many chapters are waiting to be written….

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