25 March, 2009

Dream March 25

I was in a field a huge open area that had tree’s along the horizon, I was with some other people a few friends...and I think my brother and sister in-law, we were running along side a ditch, there were hills around us but not many trees; except in the distance. There was a lot of wind; suddenly I fell to the ground and dug my arms deep into the earth. I was elbow deep grass and dirt, When I looked behind myself I looked along the ditch…I could see mini tornados forming within the ditch, they seemed to appear out of no where, and they came right for me, I buried my head in my arms and the dirt that surrounded me…they tornados would blow right over me, causing me to feel so freaked out, I would not say horrified. Just freaked out…Today is my birthday. I had several dreams last night. What a great birthday present…the dream was so weird…4 times the tornados came at me, I wasn’t hurt or anything…This dream was on the small side compared to the last tornado dream I had…I was sitting on my bed looking out the window and I could see this huge ominous cloud coming our way, I knew it was a tornado, and by the time it got to us is it was magnificent, Huge and truly amazing…it came up on the house and was just tearing it apart, I could feel the house being pulled apart and feel things buzzing past my body… I remember laying back down on the bed screaming “This is it; hang on” I felt my bed and my body being lifted into the air, I was laying flat on my back with my eye’s closed, and my hands tightly wound up in the sheets. I was floating in the sky I had this sudden peaceful feeling that overcame my entire being…I remember feeling like “This was It I was about to die” as soon as that thought entered into my head I was right back on the ground with chaos surrounding me...But I was alive...so I guess that’s all that really mattered. In my early teens and early 20’s I never had dreams about tornados…there’s are fairly new to my dreamscape

05 March, 2009

my peaceful aura is changing color

Life at the moment is still and quiet like an empty field in the early morning hours right before the sun rises and birds begin to chirp. My mind is active; my heart worrisome, and my peaceful aura is changing color…it's beyond my control now; it's taking a path of its own, leading me in a direction slightly unknown. Life is changing like it does so frequently, people come and people go. It's as if life around me is changing so much and I am standing at the beginning of this long dirt road watching life fly by…Families are blooming, falling apart, people are growing and moving on, babies are being made, and lives are being written…Maybe it's just the long summer months that make me feel so funky…I really do believe some people are happier In the winter and fall months…I being one of those people…My moods are seasonal...Hahahah...Sure call it rubbish. But it's no lie…the summer months leave my mind bored and yearning for action packed adventure…Where the hell is my action packed adventure? Tell me where the hell is it?? I think schools shouldn't give children the whole summer off; it sets you up for disappointment when you grow up and don't get summer vacations. lol Ugh.....

02 March, 2009

Unconscious Sabotage

There are things we sometimes do to our self, and it progressively kills the life within us, I'd like to think of it as Unconscious Sabotage. Treading along in life without change, subconsciously, and unconsciously we make choices based upon a superficial feeling. We sabotage our own progress before we know progress is needed. Perhaps derived from fear, we continue to disable our logical strength and allow an epic battle to be played out within the conscious being. Why? We base our current state: in life; upon an emotional battle going on deep within, of course! You say to your self; as humans with such multifaceted emotions, we are often the prey of our own meticulous yet legendary hunt.

My question is: how exactly do we step outside the moment and honestly look at the consequence? How does one keep from being pulled into the attractive poison of life's secretes? Like honey bee's we are drawn to self doubt, self hate, depression, jealousy, anger, rage, more hate, and a handicapped ability to accept responsibility for our own actions, oh wait and disillusionment. Well what I mean by disillusionment is; that sometimes life can be so up in your face that you tune it all out or make it rational in your own mind in order to deal with it for the moment, and then we continue on auto pilot. Doing everything you've always done and nothing more. And that is just it; "Nothing More". Auto Pilot is not a healthy way to live, and yet so many of us do it day in and day out, going to work, going home, doing the same thing everyday with out change. It's like sanding your soul, slowly wearing down the layers making you more vulnerable to falling apart